Scoot: ’Twas The Night Before Christmas 2018

Scoot
December 24, 2018 - 10:33 am

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the White House,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes the Democrats would agree to be fair;

The President was nestled all sung in his bed,

While visions of subpoenas danced in his head.

And Melania in her ‘kerchief, and Donald’s coiffed hair,

They were settled and absent was the impeachment scare,

When out on the South Lawn there arose such a clatter,

Trump sprang from his bed to see what was the matter,

Away to the windows he flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters, and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,

Gave Trump the sight of his presidential woe.

When what to his wondering eyes did appear,

But the fake media and Trump knew there was something to fear.

With the liberal media, so lively and quick,

Trump knew in a moment he might just get sick.

More rapid than eagles the questions they came,

And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:

Now, Anderson, Chris Cuomo, Don Lemmon and Acosta,

And Morning Joe and Mika, Maddow and Matthews,

To all of your questions the answers I must refuse,

Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!

So up at the White House the President knew,

If he kicked them all out - their networks might sue,

With the backing of Chuck Schumer and Pelosi, too.

And then in a twinkling, Trump felt so aloof,

Except for Fox News - they were honest with the truth.

As he drew more attention and was turning around,

Down the sidewalk the news media came with a bound:

Trump wore a long tie that stretched from his neck to his feet,

And his clothes and his hair were so perfect and neat,

With a bundle of questions the liberal media came back,

They hoped they could get answers and make the President crack.

Trump’s eyes - how they twinkled! But he appeared very wary,

He was concerned the investigation was getting damn scary.

His droll little frown was drawn up like a bow,

And the hair on his head was yellow, not white as snow.

Trump had a broad orange face, and a big round belly,

But he never laughed so it didn’t shake like jelly,

He was chubby and plump, a jolly old elf,

And he continued to lie in spite of himself.

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head

Soon told the media they all had something to dread.

He spoke many words, and went straight to work,

Fox News loved it - others thought he was a jerk,

And making the gestures that he was all done,

Trump worried some in the media would just make fun.

He sprang to he feet, to his new chief of staff gave a call,

Trump went to watch the news in a room down the hall.

But I heard him exclaim, as he walked out of sight,

I say “Merry Christmas,”and that’s why I’m love by the right!

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